Fuck! This Morning’s Ruth is really fucking sweary.

Viewers of This Morning were in for a shock, er, this morning, when usually-prim and proper presenter Ruth Langsford blurted out the ‘f’ word live on air.

Ruth, 50 (i.e old enough to know better) was moving from one aprt of the studio to another when she tripped, stubbed her toe,  and blurted out the expletice.

While her portly, miserable hubby Eamonn Holmes was giving a voice-over, she clearly didn’t realise she was still miked up, saying, 'Oh hang on, we're not there yet - fuck.'

Ever the trooper (or, more likely, blissfully ignorant), she then carried on presenting as though nothing but sweetness and light had emerged from her lips.

However, having been later informed of her mouth malfucniton, she apologised on her Twitter page, saying, 'I'm really sorry for that slip this morning - I stubbed my toe and unfortunately my mic was still on. Thanks for understanding.

Willow rightly banned from reading bad reviews of her fabulous little self

According to the good people at Showbizspy.com, the utterly adorable Willow Smith (daughter of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett) has been banned from reading negative reviews.

Her abso-bloody-awesome song Whip My Hair is a YouTube sensation - but according to the site, little Willow’s devoted Daddy shields her from the harsh comments made by some detractors online.

 “Whenever I’m on YouTube trying to look at my song to show my friends, he’s like covering the comments,” Willow said, “and I’m like, ‘Dad, what’s wrong?’ And he’s like, ‘Nothing, it’s just there’s people out there who really don’t like it.’”

And at only nine years old, she’s already got the PR machine wrapped around her wee little fingers.

 “Whip My Hair means don’t be afraid to be yourself, and don’t let anybody tell you that that’s wrong,” she said. “Because the best thing is you.”

Don’t believe us on just how ace this song is?! Take a look for yourselves…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvV3l-dbRTI

Daisy reaches new Lowe?

Now don’t get us wrong - Daisy Lowe is very very beautiful, stylish, blah blah blah.

She also seems to be literally EVERYWHERE right now; and there’s apparently no end to her quest for ubiquity.

Her latest fame whoring antics have seen the model/c-lister’s daughter/nepotist joining over 40 other ‘trendsetters’ teaming up with- er- Range Rover - to Tweet about their new Evoque  4x4 model.

She will be joining such luminaries as GMTV’s Ben Shepherd and George Lamb to use some new, dull sounding iPhone app to Tweet about her favourite places and journeys across various UK cities.

surely you don’t need cash THAT badly, Daisy?

Taylor Momsen irritates us even more

No stranger to danger Taylor Momsen has already ‘shocked’ the world by admitting to carrying knives and having a penchant for - wait for it -SEX TOYS, but now the 17 year old dare devil has gone one step further by whipping out her titties in public.

The Gossip Girl and frontwoman of cringingly dreadful band The Pretty Reckless made sure her audience’s pennies were well spent on Thursday with her impromptu flash at a gig in New York.

Sporting tasteful attire of fishnets and stripper heels, halfway through her hit song You Make Me Wanna Die, Momsen ran her hands seductively down her body and pulled her top down.

When will the girl learn she is a massive, annoying embracement? And why aren’t her parents stopping her? And WHY AM I SO FLAMING FUMING ABOUT ALL THIS?

The mind boggles.

Ferry Nice

The Vinyl Factory has created a deluxe vinyl edition of Bryan Ferrys album'Olympia' , released on 8 November, featuring a limited edition print of the Kate Moss cover.

Looking infuriatingly stunning (if very airbrushed), Mossy's portrait was shot by photographer Adam Whitehead, who honed his craft under the oneand only Mario Testino.

'Olympia' features contributions from musicians including Scissor Sisters, Groove Armada and Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics, Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour, and Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood.

As a long-time Roxy fan, we just can¹t wait to hear the album - which Ferry has described a "labour of love".

Diamonds are a dentist's best friend

In the run up to Christmas, the age old question 'what do you buy the man
who has it all' once again rears its ugly, wallet-draining head.

Well, look no further for inspiration than Kanye West.

The never bling-shy rapper has shown off his latest utterly ricockulous
purchase - a set of diamond teeth.

Appearing on Ellen DeGeneres' show yesterday, Kanye proudly showed his
sparkling diamond and gold implants to the public.

He told Ellen that he¹d asked the dentist to remove his bottom row of teeth
and replace them, saying: 'I just thought that diamonds were cooler.'

To which Ellen drolly responded: 'It's not a grill?'

P.S.

Just a quick note to say that Pete Doherty's latest jewellery designing endeavour has not escaped our notice. We think we might just wait until some previews of the collection come out, so we can make the most of it. Watch this space.

More designer/high street Collaborations - but are they any good?

With the news that Preen and Jonathan Saunders are about to team up with Debenhams to produce diffusion lines, and the H&M/Lanvin collaboration only weeks away from hitting the shops, I'm starting to wonder about the worth of buying into collections like this. I've never held a huge fascination with them - they're always wildly over-hyped and the result is always a let down. My love for the Swedish shop H&M cannot be overstated - but with the rock bottom prices I've always accepted that yes, my skirt was only £10, but the material is nothing to write home about, and I WILL see 35 other people on the street wearing the same thing pretty much every day. The opposite is true of buying into luxury fashion. The skirt will cost £400 - but the fabric will be quality, I'm much less likely to see other people wearing the same skirt, and I get to say, when faced with the question "where is it from?", "oh, this, its from [insert name of coveted designer label]'s new autumn collection", and there is definitely a certain satisfaction with that. Now this should make the designer/high street collab formula a dream come true. But its a sad home truth of fashion that much of the experience is an illusion created by the brands themselves. A skirt designed by Karl Lagerfeld hanging in a beautifully designed, uncluttered boutique that has quiet changing rooms, deferential assistants, and satisfyingly big, posh carrier bags that scream "luxury" to the world when you leave clutching one, looks much, much different when its hanging off a plastic hanger in a loud, crowded, messy high street shop that has stock piled up to the ceiling and you're surrounded by school-kids and other harrassed looking people in 20 minute changing room queues where they count your garments for fear of you shoplifting. And is a piece by Lanvin for H&M any more desirable than a normal H&M piece? At those prices it'll be high street fabrics anyway - and possibly even worse than usual because after the expense of selling "designer" pieces for knock off prices they'll have to cut corners somewhere. The designs will still be mass-produced in the same factories in whatever corner of the world the high street emporium in question usually uses, so my guess is that the cut and quality of the stitching ain't gonna be anything more impressive than average. And the designer collaborations are often nothing like the style of the designer collections. Lanvin's collection for H&M (preview above) just looks like a bunch of bog-standard H&M cocktail dresses in boring black. Tuxedo jacket? Yawn. Plus the sunglasses are more Lagerfeld than anything else. Personally, I'll be checking out the Preen line for Debenhams, and I'll certainly have a peek at the Lanvin/H&M offering, but I'm not getting my hopes too high. Some it will probably be nice, but then H&M often does nice things anyway. One that I've heard really good things about is the Jil Sander for Uniqlo collection - a friend was showing me her lovely new cashmere/wool blend coat - lovely cut, beautifully soft and very warm, and apparently available in black and camel. Its a simple design but incorporates classic style, luxury fabrics and high street prices, and it doesn't try too hard - which I think is the ideal formula for these ventures.

Miley Cyrus and B.o.B to perform at MTV Europe Music Awards

Among the stars performing at next month’s MTV Europe Music Awards (EMAs) will be Miley Cyrus and B.o.B, it was announced today.

This will mark Cyrus’ first ever appearance at the awards.

B.o.B will perform his hit 'Airplanes' with Paramore's Hayley Williams at the ceremony at Caja Magica, Madrid on November 7.

Other acts on the star-studded schedule for the 17th annual awards, to be hosted by Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria, include Plan B, Shakira, Perry, Kings Of Leon and Linkin Park.

The Global Icon Award will go to Bon Jovi, and Lady Gaga and Katy Perry have both got four nominations, including Best Pop, Best Female and Best Song.

You know who we're rooting for: it sounds like 'Braidy Fargar.' Go figure.

Bluffin’ with her muffin?

The woman who proclaimed that if love isn’t rough, it isn’t fun, has apparently changed her tune.

According the Daily Mail today, the ever-awesome Lady Gaga has taken part in a ‘commitment ceremony’ with boyfriend Luc Carl.

Gaga took a holiday on the Greek island of Crete earlier this month with club promoter Carl, during which the pair reportedly exchanged handwritten vows during the secret ceremony, and also exchanged rings.

 A source told Grazia: 'They exchanged rings in a spiritual service and drank shots before sitting down to a lovely private dinner at a tiny restaurant.

'They wanted to show that they are committed to each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.’

Mischievous Mr/Mrs Source also claims that Gaga is determined to have a real family-themed wedding later on with all her friends and family.

'They are still planning to marry, but that will come later when she has the time to plan a big Italian-style wedding.'

However, its not all white picket fences and puppy dogs and baked Alaska’s just get for Miss G.

The Poker Face star is currently touring Europe and recording an album at the same time.

She says: ‘People say "why don’t you wait till the tour is over to finish your album?", and I say "firstly cos my fans aren’t going to wait that long."

'Secondly because I get so much inspiration every night when I’m here with you. Then after the show I drink a bottle of Jameson (whiskey) and I get s*** wasted.

I drink a lot and I tell the truth about myself!'

Don’t we all, Lady G. Don’t we all.
 

Jed wouldn’t, would they? Yes, they wood.

However much we hate to admit it, the antics of Jedward will never cease to amuse us.

The Grimes twins’ latest hilarious misadventures have led them to splash out a whopping £20,000 online, buying memorabilia including one of Michael Jackson’s old bedsheets for £3,000.

According to The Sun today, Ed and John didn’t sleep for two days while they busied their wired little mitts bidding on China-based icons auction Legends.

Edward said: "It's really good stuff - nobody else in the world has it.

"We bought a Britney Spears suit she wore in a Pepsi commercial.

"We've got a signed, limited-edition Michael Jackson doll and a signed bedsheet of his also signed by Macaulay Culkin. We also bought some outfits from Batman, like The Riddler's, and some clown thing."

In even more of a treat for the eyes and ears, rumour has it that the twins may sport their spoils on their 2011 tour.

John added: "We bought these spaceman and Superman costumes. They will look awesome on stage."

And who wouldn’t believe these bastions of style?

Jerry Hall defends Jagger’s ‘tiny’ todger

It’s surely every man’s worst nightmare to have your supposed-mate describe how small your willy is in public.

But that’s exactly what Rolling Stone Keef Richrds has done in his autobiography Life, which hit Jagger well below the proverbial belt in claims that Anita Pallenberg ‘had no fun’ with Jagger’s ‘tiny todger’.

Jerry Hall - clearly an expert on the subject - was invited to respond to the comment by Graham Norton on BBC Radio 2.

The 54-year-old was quick to defend former husband Mick, saying that Keef 'was just jealous'.

She said: ‘Mick is very well endowed.  I should know – I was with him for 23 years. Keith is just jealous.’

IT may well be a case of too little too late, however, as the willy wumour has already swept around the world in newspapers and on the internet, where last night more than 1,000 articles were repeating the insult, according to the Daily Mail.

Wife is a rollercoaster

Proving that his love life really is a Rollercoaster that  he ‘just gotta ride’, Ronan ‘Cheating’ is firmly back with wife Yvonne, after an “emotional reunion” in Australia.

Yvonne was spotted clinging on to her hubby as she had a tattoo done in Sydney, during which the couple were all smiles.

The reunion follows the couple’s split in May, when Ronan was ousted from their Dublin home after it emerged not-so-squeaky-clean Ronan had been having a seven-month affair with dancer Francine Cornell.

Ronan is currently working as a judge on the Australian version of The X Factor, and Yvonne joined him with children Jack, 11, Marie, nine, and Ali, four.

And, we know we’ve said it before but we really, really do hate to stire; but if Yvonne can smile while getting a tattoo, are we REALLY to believe that upside-down frown during their ‘romantic’ stroll on Bondi Beach?

Shiver Me Timbers! Depp generous with his pieces-o’-eight

Johnny Depp proves that as well as being devastatingly handsome and a jolly, jolly good pirate, he’s also a thoroughly altruistic soul to boot.

According to The Sun today, the Pirates of the Caribbean star, 47, forked out £40,000 on jackets for the crew on his new pirate movie.

Concerned that his ship mates’ timbers may be shivering, he made sure everyone had their own £80 waterproof hiking jacket during filming for the fourth in the Pirates of the Caribbean series at Pinewood Studios, Bucks.

One crewmember said: "Johnny paid out of his own pocket for all 500 of us to have a nice warm waterproof.

"It's a great morale boost and another example of why he is one of the nicest people in Hollywood."

ASOS BLACK

ASOS Black is the website's new capsule collection. It has high end aspirations, with lots of ruffling and some real red carpet long dresses. It is difficult to imagine wearing the ruffled maxi skirt, for example, anywhere apart from a fashion event or star studded bash, but the colour is muted enough to have a go, and in East London you'd probably just about get away with it. Not recommended for a rainy day however.

Embellished shoes: £140
Ruffled maxi skirt: £95
Tiered mini skirt: £45
Black maxi dress: £95

All this and more available at ASOS

Kanye West - all things to all men?

Kanye West, rapper, style icon, actor, designer - not someone known for his inferiority complex. However, apparently the fashion industry has the power to make the poor guy feel chilly. In an interview with GQ.com, entitled, "100 things that Kanye taught GQ" he revealed his hurt that the Paris fashion set showed his new film the cold shoulder when it was screened during fashion week. He then said that after doing only one collection with Louis Vuitton, it was "heartbreaking" to hear "you're finished." Cue mental image of snotty, fur clad french fashion house creative director saying this with a very strong accent, as Kanye's couture dreams come crashing down around him.

The rapper/style icon/actor/designer then went on to blame the luckless Lindsay Lohan for the failure of his own fashion endeavours, saying "Not to down Lindsay Lohan as a person, but her collection for Ungaro was what 9/11 did for America and Arabia. It killed celebrities in fashion and completely destroyed my chances of putting out a label."

Do, if you have a spare hour or so, go and read the full article here.

Money for nothing?

Wouldn’t it be nice to be paid £2million a year for doing something you’re actually pretty crap at?

Well, Graham Norton has admitted that that’s pretty much the size of his career.

Having been handed the BBC’s most high-profile talk show role, taking over from potty-mouthed Jonathan Ross, Graham has announced that his interview questions are frequently ‘predictable’.

‘I am really bad at actually interviewing people,’ Norton told the Radio Times.

‘My chat show really is a “chat” show, in that we do just witter on because most questions you come up with you either know the answer to or are never going to be answered.’

In a somewhat lame attempt to claw back a little credibility, he claimed people would be surprised at the amount of work that went into putting together his series.

However, we lose all sympathy when noting he formerly said: 'I've never been paid as much money as I was at Channel 4.

'I will never make that amount again. It was kind of crazy money by the time I left. So it was a pay cut going to the BBC.'

Nothing like a good moan, Joan

Beacon of glamour Joan Collins, 77, has hit out at the actresses of today, sating that they are nothing compared to the actresses of the age of the classic Hollywood beauty.

Unlike the ‘golden age’ of film (and yes, those immortal words “back in my day” do spring to mind), she says the public is now ‘starved of gorgeous people’.

She says: ‘When I was young, everybody on screen was gorgeous.

‘I have to say, there aren’t that many good looking actresses around today. I mean, there’s Angelina Jolie and there’s... Angelina Jolie.

‘Jennifer Aniston is cute, but I wouldn’t call her beautiful. She’s no Ava [Gardner] or Lana [Turner].’

In an interview with Hello! magazine, she points to this void of beauty as the reason a certain Cheryl Cole has so enchanted the nation.

She said: ‘Perhaps actresses of today, in their desire to be “taken seriously”, feel that being groomed and well put together detracts from their ability.

'Yes, I know fashions change and everyone attempts to look up-to-date but the movie-star styles of the Twenties, Thirties, Forties and Fifties changed radically each decade. What didn’t change, however, was their individual style; they were all one-offs.’

Love is blind

In yet more news from the tables of Central Perk, The Daily Mail revealed today that David Schwimmer has been secretly married for four months.

43-year-old Dave’s representative revealed last night he wed British girlfriend Zoe Buckman, 25, in a small private ceremony in early June, since announcing their engagement in March.

The couple met in London in 2007 when Schwimmer was directing Run, Fat Boy, Run, and soon after Zoe upped sticks from Stoke Newington to move to LA with him.

 Schwimmer was previously reportedly engaged to Israeli actress Mili Avital.

Cox and Arquette on ‘trial separation’

Courtney Cox and David Arquette have announced their ‘trial separation’ after US magazine In Touch Weekly reported that the couple had split.

They have been married for 11 years. Cox, 46, and Arquette, 39, met in 1996 while filming Scream and were married three years later in San Francisco. They also have a six-year-old daughter, Coco.

 They said they hope the separation will help them 'understand themselves and their relationship,' and they insisted they 'still love each other deeply.'

The statement continued: 'The reason for this separation is to better understand ourselves and the qualities we need in a partner and for our marriage.

'We remain best friends and responsible parents to our daughter and we still love each other deeply.

'As we go though this process we are determined to use kindness and understanding to get through this together.'

Without wishing to, well, shit-stir, pics that emerged recently of Dave with an ‘unknown woman’ may have something to do with the news…..

Brad Twitt

Proving he is possibly little more than just a pretty face, Bar Pitt was left baffled on Monday when he showed up at the wrong house, and, naturally, couldn’t get in.

Well, it must be tough being a squillionaire with so many different houses around the world that you have no idea which one is, in fact, your own.

Making an embarrassingly un-rock and roll entrance at a house in Budapest on a BMW motorbike, his Pitt-stop proved short lived as a helpful pap directed him to the right house.

Brad, 46, has been staying in Budapest with his motley family crew while Ange is directing her first feature film - a love story set against the backdrop of the Bosnian war.

The house they are renting in the Hungarian capital covers a whopping 8000 square feet. Easily missed, then.

The Empire Strikes Crack

Carrie Fisher has revealed that she snorted coke on the set of The Empire Strikes Back, The Sun reported today.

Carrie, 53, played Princess Leia in the 1980 movie, and somewhat fittingly, admitted her chemical indiscretion took places while filming scenes on the ice planet Hoth.

She said: "I didn't even like coke that much. It was just a case of getting on whatever train I needed to take to get high."

It is the first time the former junkie has admitted taking drugs while filming the legendary sci-fi saga.

Carrie added: "I realised I was doing a bit more drugs than other people and losing my choice in the matter. If I had been addicted to booze I would be dead now - because you just go out and get it."

However, unlike certain starlets, she refreshingly doesn’t blame her broken family or celebrity for her addiction.

"If it was Hollywood [to blame], we'd all be dope addicts”, she says.

Drugs are not cool, but can make you richer.

Always the publication to keep abreast of Kate Moss’s nasal antics, The News of the World reported on Sunday that the model’s agent has bragged about how her famous indiscretion doubled her money.

Talking of the scandal for the first time, agency boss Sarah Doukas said: "Unfortunately all press is good press in this world. I had a strategic view of it. I just thought 'She'll be fine!' "

Sarah, founder of Storm Model Management and the woman who discovered Kate at 14, spoke out on Radio 4's Desert Island Discs on Sunday morning.

In handy advice to young celeb dabblers, she told BBC presenter Kirsty Young: "I spent a lot of time trying to reassure big clients. You keep calm and don't have a knee-jerk reaction."

Although several massive companies including Chanel and Burberry dropped the model it was later revealed her annual profits went up from £2 million to £4 million. How much of this was pumped back into fuelling said - ahem - ‘publicity machine’ is unknown….

Jeremy Kyle in ‘envelope gate’

In a hilarious turn of events, TV’s favourite absolute toss pot Jeremy Kyle was left ‘shaken’ last week, after an angry guest hurled an, er, envelope at his noggin.

JK had just read the DNA test results to a man, somewhat predictably named Kev , when he retaliated with the stationary.

When Jezza returned to confront the young father, Kev threatened to 'knock him out'.

Perhaps disappointingly, the ITV show’s producers are well equipped for this kind of incident, and bouncers were on hand to calm the situation before it got any more heated.

Both Kev and his on/off girlfriend Elana were on Friday's episode, entitled 'Will our relationship survive two lie detector tests and a DNA test'.

here’s the dialogue:

[Jez throws envelope off-stage; Kev asks why]

JK: 'It's an envelope,’

KEV: 'You don't have to look at me like that man.'

[JK retrieves offending paper; drops it on Kev’s lap]
 JK:  'You might have heard of [budget] cuts at ITV but you can have the damn envelope if you want it. There you are. If you could be as good a father as you are envelope collector, the world would be...'

[Kev hurls envelope at head of JK].

JK: 'It's really mature isn't it, being you?'

KEV:  'I'll give you mature in a minute mate... with your big mans (sic) stood beside you, innit?'

JK:  'concentrate on the truth'

KEV: 'Because the truth hurts innit.'

JK: ‘you should be happy after finding out you’re the father’

KEV: 'Well I'm not happy with you talking to and looking at me like that. I tell ya, I will knock you out.'

Shut up, Jessica.

Following her latest men’s mag cover shoot for GQ, Jessica Alba infuriates the nation’s womankind by whining: "My breasts are saggy, I've got cellulite, my hips are bigger... every actress out there is more beautiful than me…"

Is she for real?  She was voted Sexiest Woman in the World by FHM in 2007.

Yes, she’s now a mum, but really?! Three words, Jessica: get. a. grip.

We think Heatworld forum-genius ‘Clairei’ has got it spot on, saying: ‘Can't understand why she left out her horrible voice from that list. Or how boring she is. I had a baby 3 weeks ago and I really like my body because it's so much lighter, so naff off Alba.’

‘Nuff said.

More from PFW

Keira Knightley sporting a new "do" at the Chanel show - perhaps just a little bit dull?

This meat dress don’t come for free, y’all

According to The Daily Star today, Lady Gaga has blown a whopping £1million in just three months.

Aside from her penchant for kebab pashminas, she’s been spending her pennies on everything from private jets to hiring NASA scientists to design her clothes - resulting in a rumoured £4m loss on her sell-out tour of Europe.

A ‘PR insider’ said: “I’ve never seen anyone spend money like GaGa, not even Elton John.

“At least Elton spends money on things you can understand, like flowers and property. GaGa spends thousands on teams of ghostbusters to check if the places she’s playing are haunted, or £40,000 on a space chemist to design a
dress shaped like a teapot.”

Apparently said tea-set frock was hoped to be able to fire out steam, but it had to be scrapped after the NASA team’s experiments failed.  Which doesn’t really do much to help the old ‘moon landing was a fake’ rumours, does it?

Is there no end to how just how darn exciting Nigella Lawson is?

When she’s not busy licking cream off her breasts, or pretending that a chicken kebab is a penis, or whatever the bleedin’ hell she does in the kitchen all day, she apparently wiles away her time sporting wigs.

The ‘domestic goddess’ told Good Housekeeping magazine: “I’ve never been a big party hat person so I’ve recently moved into wigs.

“There’s a website I go to for cheap wigs and although you wouldn’t want to stand near a naked flame wearing them they’re great fun.”

Yes, when we think ‘oh, I don’t fancy that party tonight’, we wear wigs too. Oh no, that’s right - we watch telly, or drink wine, or something a lot less bloody weird.

The 50-year-old added: “My sister and I wore platinum blonde hair all Christmas Day last year, my daughter had a very good lilac bob on and even an older gentleman in his 80s was wearing long blue hair.”

Wayne woos Col with massive pay-Czech

Proving that perhaps money - or at least holidays - can buy you happiness, Coleen Rooney’s been all smiles on her ‘second honeymoon’ to Prague with serial sex-buyer hubby Wayne.

Coleen - apparently on a ‘work trip’ (though we had no idea Littlewoods had the budget), has been snaped enjoying cosy dinners with her love rat lover.

a source told the Sunday Mirror: 'Wayne wants this trip to be like a second honeymoon. Wayne is desperate to make it up to Coleen and a break away is exactly what they need...

'They agreed to leave the baby with Coleen's family for a few days so they can be completely alone and remember why they fell in love with each other.'

Let’s hope they’re alone in the dark, then.

Spotted: Paris Fashion Week

At Viktor and Rolf: Leigh Lezark, Chanel muse and one half of the MisShapes DJing outfit. Leigh looks suitably weird and wonderful in a piece from the autumn/winter 2010 collection. Its funny how some people can carry off even the most bizarre pieces and makes them somehow seem right. Geri Halliwell is not one of those people. Also wearing Viktor and Rolf, but noticeably lacking that "fashion muse" kind of look, Halliwell also appears to be having problems walking. Admittedly she's wearing vertiginous heels, but to be honest, if you can't cope with them even to totter from car to show without the assistance of two people, perhaps fashion week appearances ain't for you.

Paris gives up clubbing; world mourns

Party Princess Paris is reportedly to hang up her dancing shoes, since being busted with cocaine in her purse last month.

Currently on probation for the drugs charges, Paris will have to complete a substance abuse programme, pay a $2,000 fine

, and complete 200 hours of community service over the next year.  Thus leaving her ample time to flash her knickers in clubs, we’ll warrant.

but apparently not. Heatworld reports a source as saying: "The days of Paris going out to clubs are done.

“Paris much prefers staying home with her boyfriend [Cy Waits], and watching movies.”

Given the fact that she’s pretty much solely famous for partying, if we actually cared we’d be somewhat concerned where this would leave her ‘career’.  More Nazi saluting?  (Remember ‘yacht-gate’?)  More home ‘movies’? Or even - shudder - more Simple Life?