In a massive shock to the nation, the News of World exclusively revealed today that Shrekalike Wayne Rooney was been up to no good with a £1,200 hooker while poor Col was preggers.
The shock here, perhaps, is not in the philandering nature of footballers, or that his wife was pregnant, but that the hooker didn’t ask for a much fairer price to sleep with what can only be described as man with ‘a face only a mother could love.’
Alas no. Our fave hangover rag revealed that Wane was giving the old ‘in out in out’ to hapless hooker Jenny Thompson, 21, for months.
He even managed to wrangle a threesome with young Jen and another lady of the night.
The words ‘shit sandwich’ spring to mind.
While young Colleen was busy bulging with Wayne’s boy Kai, the England star was bombarding Miss Thompson with ‘sex texts’.
The hooker, never one to miss a trick as far as socio-libidinous matters are concerned, revealed to the News of the World: “I think he believes he’s untouchable.
“As a woman, I wouldn’t like that done to me – especially if I was pregnant.”
According to the hooker, she first met Wayne in June 2009 at the Manchester 235 Casino where he was boozing with Rio Ferdinand and some of the Rooney clan.
They met a week later at the Lowry hotel for a threesome with her pal, where the steamy vice girls sported matching La Senza black lace undies. Classy.
Possibly in something of a coup for our Jenny, however, Wayne’s stamina apparently left a lot to be desired.
She told the paper: “He didn’t want us to put on a lesbian sex show, he was more into two girls pleasuring him at the same time. But it was all over far too quickly.”
(‘far’? ‘too’? are you sure?)
At least this time wee Wayne steered clear of the treacherously Tena Lady strewn Granny territory.
Frankly, this story surprises us about as much as Ricky Martin revealing he’s gay. (that’s not very much, FYI).
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